October 18, 2006 - 8:03 p.m.
<Unsatisfied
>
I am an incredibly uninteresting person.
I didn't used to be this way.
Somewhere between school and work and growing up, I lost track of myself. I hate that. I still know myself, I'm not saying I don't know who I am. But I've not given myself enough time to nurture those parts of me that I love. I've put other things first. Perhaps rightly so, but still. I need to remember to give myself some time and energy, too.
Damn my sickness. Damn it all. The doctor called today and said that the blood tests revealed nothing, and that I have to now go find some specialized doctor who can do more tests on me and figure out what's wrong. I've tried defying it, I've tried going out and living and doing what I want to do despite it, but in the end I always go home early so I can sit in my bed and feel crappy. It's an incredibly frustrating prison, this mystery illness is.
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