December 30, 2005 - 1:45 a.m.
<Growing older has its peaks and pitfalls
>
Being home is fantastic. I love going into work every day. I love holidays with my family. I love the air here.
Two days ago, Ramsey came up to Cincinnati again. We hung out during the day, got lunch and watched TV. The festival of lights was superb, as always. I hated to see him go. It bothers me that he doesn't say "I love you" when he leaves me...haven't we already crossed that hurdle? Being scared that he now regrets saying it is worse than when I was frustrated because he hadn't yet. Or maybe we're just not in the habit and I shouldn't think anything of it. At any rate, I've loved his visits up here, and loved showing him things and sharing things with him that I've grown up with. But I cannot wait to be back in Louisville and just laying in bed with him all day.
Tonight we had a bridal shower for Lisa at the Gate House. It was, of course, wonderful. I'm glad that I'm old enough now to actually have a conversation with my aunts, and it's not the awkward conversation of people stuck in two different worlds without much to say to each other. We're still in different words. But it's not awkward.
In other news, I've officially passed another milestone of a woman. Today I put on my jeans before work and decided I had to go shopping right then and there. The thing is, most of my pants are now too small. I've gained too much weight. I'm not even chubby by any means - still a size 7, and at 5'7" I know that that's not bad. I know I don't have much room to complain. But I do know that I've never needed pants this big before. In high school, I was the stick-thin one. And while being bigger means that now I have sizeable boobs, and an ass to speak of, it's also still sad. I now have that womanly milestone I spoke of - now I have "skinny jeans" which I just hope to get back to the size of. When I bought them, they fit me like a glove.
Mom pointed out the fact that I'm on birth control - I know that birth control commonly adds pounds, so I'm suprised that it hadn't occured to me. And I guess it's nice to know that this is probably a product of that and not of my own accord. But it also adds a small frustration - it will be that much harder to lose those extra pounds.
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