August 19, 2005 - 12:28 p.m.
<Thrill Park Therapy
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Yesterday Jason, Andrew, Jessica, Emily, Anna, and I went to King's Island. It was so amazingly fun - the weather wasn't too hot, and there were slight drizzles all day, and it was a weekday and most kids in NKY have
just started school, so that equals wonderful lines. We waited about 20 minutes in maybe two lines, everything else was less. Some rides we just stayed on for a second ride immediately. We rode almost everything that there is to ride, and went to the water park, which I haven't been to in probably more than five years. It feels good to be worn out by eight o'clock, you know? That doesn't usually happen anymore. I was so grateful to just have a day of complete fun with them, I think it's really what I needed.
Somehow, by the end of the day, without really thinking about them all day, I had the feeling that I want to stay with Ramsey. It wasn't even so much as a decision, as just an understanding. But who knows how long that will last - I keep changing my mind. But I am encouraged by the fact that this decision feels stronger, and has lasted longer, than my other flip-flopping around.
I can't wait for him to come home. I just want to touch him again. I want to run into his arms and see him smile again. And hear his voice! The other day I said a joke that he would've laughed really hard at. The person I told it to, I think, didn't even understand that it was supposed to be a joke. He just looked at me funny like he didn't understand what I had just said. That really made me miss Ramsey. I feel like certain parts of me, only a few people get. Thankfully, he is one of those few people. I want to lay in bed with him, and curl up with him. It will be fantastic.
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