November 14, 2006 - 1:05 a.m.
<I'm losing my mind
>
My drugs are making me crazy. Seriously. The doctor said I could start taking the one only at night, so by the time I wake up most of the insanity has passed. But now I'm on these other ones that confuse me, too, and I have to take those all the time.
Last night I woke up and felt awful so I decided to take a shower because it always makes me feel better, no matter what's wrong. So I get in the shower, but the whole time I'm in there I'm thinking really ridiculous thoughts. Mainly, I kept getting mad because somehow I convinced myself that my friend Billy's uncle wouldn't hire me for a job because I was a woman. I have
no idea where that came from, but it's ridiculous. Every once in a while I'd have a few moments of clarity, when I would realize that I was going nutty. But after a few moments I would go back into thinking stupid things again. And I had Boston lyrics going through my head, but mostly that America song about a horse with no name. And every time I thought of it, I didn't realize I'd just ran the same verse through my head two seconds before.
I can see all of this in retrospect in clarity.
I am going really insane? I think so!
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